Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Samantha

It's been a week now since Samantha passed away. It's been a very difficult week to say the least. I can't stop thinking about her and I miss her so much. The energy in the house is different, Sterling is very sad and the boys keep saying they miss her and they want her back on earth. They know she went to heaven. Heaven to them is where grandpa and Roxx (my brother's cat) and Jesus live. Samantha has now joined them in heaven. Each of the boys received a balloon on Curtis' birthday at the restaurant we went to. When we got home, we released the balloons up in the sky so Samantha, Roxx and grandpa each could have a balloon. It was very sweet.

Some of you have asked how she passed away. I am still shaking my head as how this could have happened. Maybe it was something we hadn't known about for awhile or maybe it was a sudden illness. I guess we'll never know. It started Saturday morning when I noticed she was breathing kind of rapidly. She really didn't want to get up and move around either. We had a family function that day and didn't return until later that night. We got home around 9pm that night to find her in the boys bathroom (where she never lays) and wouldn't get up. Curtis and I both knew something was wrong. He took her to the ER vet and they said she was in critical condition. Her heart rate was really high, her blood pressure was low and her red blood cell count was really low. They started her on an IV to hydrate her and started antibiotics. She had an ultrasound and chest x-ray done but nothing showed a mass or pooling of blood that they could see. The next morning I went to the vet to see her. She was still breathing heavy and didn't have much energy. The doctor explained that she thought she had an auto immune disease called Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. Basically her white blood cells were attacking her red blood cells. They also thought she had Immune Mediated Thrombocytopenia which is where her white cells were also attacking her platelets. Not good. I went back Sunday morning and she looked worse. Her skin started bruising (side effect of the low platelet count) and her red cell count had gone down. We made the decision to do a blood transfusion to help get her to a better place of recovery, if possible. They started her on a steroid and several other medicines. We needed to get her body to stop attacking itself for any hope of survival. The next morning her red cell count went up which was good but she still wasn't at a level that was normal. The blood test also showed her body was making new red cells which was also good. I had hope as of Monday. We decided to bring her home Monday morning with medication and prayers in our hearts.

In the beginning of the week she didn't get better but she didn't get worse. She didn't have much energy and not really an appetite. As the week progressed she started refusing to eat. I talked to the vet about that and she suggested we back off on one of the medicines in the hopes that her appetite would come back. Saturday we had an appointment to recheck her red cell count. That night we got the results that her numbers were improving. More hope but a cautious hope because she seemed to be getting worse. Sunday her right eye turned a light green color with some red spots on the iris. She was starting to vomit as well so we made an appointment for her on Monday afternoon. Monday she got worse. Curtis had to carry her to the car because she wouldn't get up. We both knew it wasn't good. We had the boys say goodbye to her because that was probably the last time they were going to see her.

I got to the vets office full of tears and unable to get the words out that I needed help getting her out of the car. They brought us right away into a room and I sat down on the floor with her. I couldn't stop crying. The vet came in and looked at Samantha. We both knew that there was nothing we could do to help her at this point. She thinks that there was a tumor somewhere in her body that was starting to bleed out. She said I would be doing the most selfless thing by letting her go. I wanted to be selfish. I wanted her here with me. That's where she had been for the last 11 years. But, I didn't want her to suffer and I knew it was the right thing to do for her. I can't explain the feeling of signing a paper that says, yes, put my dog to sleep. Horrible. I wanted to stay for every last minute with her. They came in and started an IV. They gave me some more time alone with her. Then the vet came in and administered the medicine to put her to sleep. She's gone. Forever. How did this happen? Why? That's all I kept thinking about. They took a paw imprint for me to have. They gave me as much time with her as I wanted. I laid on the floor next to her and held her in my arms. I told her how much I loved her and how much we will miss her. Every time I thought about leaving, I just didn't want to go. It was the last time that I would ever see her again. I finally decided to leave with an empty collar and leash in hand. Goodbye Samantha.

She was the best dog and most lovable dog you could imagine. Everyone who met her loved her. She was sweet, friendly and loved her belly to be rubbed. Every night at bedtime she would come lay with me in the bed and we would hang out and watch a bit of tv before I went to sleep. Every time I would put her in the car on the passenger side, she would climb over and sit in the driver side seat. I'd tell her "schoochie poochie" and she'd move back to the passenger side. During my single years, we would take daily walks, we would go to the dog park and we would go hiking. She was always there at the door when I walked in the empty house. It was comfort to know she was there and happy to see me. She was not just a dog to me. She was my companion and my friend.

I know time will heal the pain and sadness that I feel right now. I'll just remember all the great times we had together. I'll remember how much she loved us and how much she was loved.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Mt. Rushmore & Yellowstone National Park Vacation

It took a lot of planning, packing and patience to pull off our 16 day vacation during the summer. We drove a total of 3,842 miles and Curtis drove about 3,800 of those miles. As the co-pilot, I was the snack getter, movie player, referee, map reader, sandwich maker, cocktail waitress, and book reader on this trip. I have to hand it to Curtis, he did a fantastic job getting us safe and sound to our destinations. If it meant driving for 14 hours into the wee hours of the morning, he did it. As Jack said "Dad, without you we could have not gone on vacation. Mom doesn't know how to pull the bus."

We all were so excited to go on vacation that we wound up leaving a day early. I had always wanted to see Mt. Rushmore and Yellowstone and Curtis had great memories of the time he had gone as a kid. Our plan was to do most of the driving at night because, well let's face it, it's better for everyone when the kids are sleeping and you don't have to listen to "He touched me, are we there yet?, I have to pee" etc.

The first day we decided to drive to Las Vegas to stop and have dinner and show the boys the lights of the city. We decided we were going to have dinner at the NASCAR Cafe that night. The boys favorite drivers are number 24, 48 and 88. Looking at their website on the way to the restaurant, it looked like fun but when we got there it was just kind of eeh and there wasn't a kids menu. Go figure. It was getting late so we ditched that plan, made sandwiches in the trailer and headed back out on the road. We drove down the strip so the boys could see the lights. They kept asking "Is that the real (fill in the blank)". Our next stop was a Wal-Mart somewhere in Utah.

It was HOT in Utah even at 3 a.m. when we pulled in. The next morning we got up, did a bit of shopping (Wal-Mart has it all figured out. You can sleep in their parking lot for free because they know you will spend your money at their store in the morning.) and headed out on the road. We stopped at Union Station where they had 3 different museums we wanted to visit. First and foremost Curtis wanted to see the John Browning Firearms Museum. Giddy is an understatement on how he felt about visiting the museum. After that we saw the Car Museum and then the Railroad Museum. They were small but still a fun time for the boys. We had lunch and headed out to our next destination, Casper Wyoming.

Again, another late night of driving and sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The next day was a lot of driving to Hill City, South Dakota where we would camp for 3 days. We arrived at the KOA forgetting that we had left a day early in our trip and our reservations weren't until the next day. Oops! Thankfully they were able to find a spot for us that night or we probably would have had another night at Wal-Mart. That night I was reading a brochure and it said Mt. Rushmore is lit up at night and they do a special presentation at 9pm. I thought it would be awesome to see Mt. Rushmore lit up at night and boy was I right. It was fantastic! It was so good that we never wound up going back during the day to see it. The next day we went to Custer State Park for some wildlife viewing. One of the unexpected animals we saw were two burrows in the middle of the road. We pulled over and got out of the truck to get a closer look. The boys pet them and the burrows kept going from car to car to get fed the random cracker or whatever else someone happened to be eating at the time. Come to find out, the dark brown one was pregnant. She probably enjoyed that fig newton! Later in the day we headed to Thunderhead Falls which was a cave that had a waterfall at the end of it. We enjoyed the cool temperature inside the cave because it was another hot day. We headed back to camp that night for a dip in the pool. Curtis took an unexpected dip in the pool because one of the boys accidentally came out of their floaties. He jumped in fully dressed without hesitation. That's my man! The next day was our last day in South Dakota. We went took a ride on the 1880's train through the Black Hills of South Dakota. It was nice and relaxing and we got to see the beautiful countryside. South Dakota was so enjoyable but it was time to leave for Cody Wyoming and another night at Wal-Mart.

We decided to stop at Bear Country USA and Old McDonald's Farm on our way out of South Dakota. Bear Country USA is the place to see wildlife. We saw lions, bears, antelope, goats, raccoons, and sheep. I think the guy told us there were 52 bears at the place. Then we stopped at Old McDonald's Farm to feed the animals. The boys got to feed baby goats and sheep and take a horse ride. We watched the pig races and goats doing a high wire act. Well it looked like a high wire act but it was some type of platform they got to walk across to get some hay. Then we got back on the road....

The drive to Cody was quite an experience. The road to Cody was under construction and it was quite the off road experience in a 36ft trailer. We were driving at night again so it was dark, the road was narrow and very bumpy. Curtis had noticed a small bulge in one of the trailer tires before we left South Dakota and and all I kept thinking is that we were going to get a flat in the middle of nowhere with no cell service and get stuck out there. Thankfully we made it to the Cody Wal-Mart in the wee hours of the morning without a flat. So that next morning we headed to a tire shop to have the tire replaced. We grabbed a pizza, had a picnic and then took off for West Yellowstone Montana.

On our drive to Yellowstone to our KOA just outside the west entrance, we decided to stop by Old Faithful Geyser. Goodness gracious there were a lot of people there! We still had our trailer with us and that was "fun" to find a parking spot. We just missed the last eruption so we had about an hour to kill before the next eruption. We walked around to the other geysers in the area. For some reason, Nolan loved the smell of the sulphur that came out of them. I got nothing but a headache from them. We got to see Old Faithful erupt which was very cool. We headed out and needed to check into our KOA for the week. We set up camp that night and looked forward to the next week of exploring Yellowstone. The first couple of days we visited a lot of geysers. I think one of the highlights was the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. Wow, was it beautiful! We decided to hike down to the place where the waterfall goes over the edge. Now, had I known there was going to be a wind and hailstorm during the 600 foot descent, I wouldn't have gone but who knew! Yeah it was kind of cloudy when we got out of the truck but a little drizzle never hurt anybody. And hey, it was warm outside so we didn't bother bringing a jacket either. By the time we got to the end of the trail and the overlook of the waterfall we were drenched. I think we spent about a minute looking at it and then headed back up. Straight up. I was so proud of the boys. They didn't whine or cry at all. They saw it as an adventure. And wouldn't you know it, by the time we got back up, the rain stopped and the sun started to come out.

Some of the highlights during our stay in Yellowstone was seeing a family of bison most days on the road to wherever we were going. One day they decided to run down the middle of the road. It's not like you can go around them or anything because everyone is stopped in both lanes of traffic to watch them. We planned a scenic float down the Yellowstone River in Gardiner Montana. The water was pretty low so the class of rapids weren't very high. I had regretted not doing the actual whitewater rafting trip after that trip. We had an awesome guide and it was just our family on the boat. Jack kept yelling "HEADS UP" when he would see just a bit of whitewater. We had a chance to get out of the raft and jump in the water. It was a hot day so I thought, sure! Oh my gosh that water was sooooo cold. The guide got in and helped the boys dip themselves in the water too. I guess my blue lips deterred Curtis from getting in that day. On the drive home Curtis talked about going again but this time with more whitewater. We had talked to the guide about it and said that the boys would be safe and it wouldn't be that bad. So 2 days later we went again and asked for the same guide. This time we had 2 other families with us. The boys kept everyone laughing with their reaction to getting hit by waves of water. I am glad we went back so they could experience the true whitewater rafting experience.

Our time went by so fast in Yellowstone. We decided to drive through the Grand Tetons and Jackson Hole on our way back home. The Tetons were so beautiful. Jackson Hole was a quaint little town with some great ice cream. Our last destination before home was Cedar City Utah. We stopped at the Dinosaur Discovery Site in St. George. They have the largest single block of dinosaur tracks in a museum anywhere in the world.

We arrived home full of memories that will last a lifetime and dirty laundry that seemed to never end. I am thankful to Curtis for his sacrifice of time in the office to take us on this great vacation. We sure enjoyed it!

Of course, pictures! Grab a cup of coffee. There are 200+ pictures.



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Boys Birthday Bash

We had a fantastic time celebrating the boys 6th birthday this year. It was the first year that the boys had a classroom celebration for their special day. I baked some cupcakes and hung out in their class for half of the day. The boys had a special birthday song sung to them by their classmates. It was such a cute song about the angels singing on the day they were born. After school my mom came over to celebrate their birthday with them. Curtis came home early and we opened some presents and had some cake. I had baked them an individual cake for their birthday. Their request was for me to make a race car cake for each of them. Hum...I gave it a shot. Thankfully we had gone to a cake shop to pick up a box for the cupcakes the day before and the owner of the cake shop gave me a picture of a race car cake that would be "easy" to make. Uh huh....I think it took me 7 hours to make those 3 cakes but it was fun. The boys picked out their own color of car and the number that they wanted on it. While we were celebrating with cake, my brother Paul called from Chicago. We used his video conferencing tool from his business to get on the computer so that he could wish the boys a happy birthday. During the video conferencing, the boys got to open the presents that Paul and Andrew had sent to them. So even though Paul wasn't here physically, he still got to see them open their presents. That was pretty cool! Then we headed to dinner at Red Robin which is the boys favorite restaurant to eat at. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the staff know us there since we probably go once a month. They got their favorite mac and cheese and a birthday sundae at the end. At the end of the day when I tucked them in, I still couldn't believe that they are now 6.

Sunday we had a big celebration at the house. Saturday night it felt like Christmas Eve here because the boys were SO excited about their party. We had a slot car race track and a giant slide for the kids to enjoy. Unfortunately the weather wasn't cooperating with us and it was very cold and sprinkled at times. The kids didn't care but the adults were frozen. The boys got some great gifts and we had cake and ice cream. Little did I know that the blue frosting on the cake was going to turn everyone into the Blue Man Group. Most people who had cake also had blue teeth and fingers if they touched it. Sorry! We also celebrated their cousin Chloe's birthday and their friend Kasey's birthday which fell on that Sunday. We also had a "surprise" guest show up at the party. The owner of the slot car track and slide also keeps a puppy dog costume in his truck?! He offered to dress up as the puppy to entertain the kids and I thought "okay....". Honestly I was thinking "Is this going to cost me more money?!" He came out in his costume and the room got quiet and the kids kind of sat there speachless. O'well.... Then we headed out to take a swing at the pinata. It was mayhem when the candy poured out of it onto the concrete. Man those kids love their candy! It was getting late and people headed home to defrost.

We were so thankful for everyone coming out and celebrating their special day with them!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Still on a Nitro High

It was the 50th Anniversary of the Winternationals at Pomona for the NHRA. In my lifetime I have probably been to 15-20 of those races with my dad. We would start off the morning by having breakfast at Coco's and heading to the races. We would spend most of the day there and come home with a nitro high. On the eve of my dad's 4 year anniversary of passing, I find myself on that nitro high again. Funny how life comes full circle sometimes.

We started the day off by stopping by Fast Jack Beckman's pit. We got to see the new body that the Valvoline car is running this year. It is awesome! Later we came back to say good luck to him and get a picture with the boys. We headed back to the stands and Curtis told me that I was going to have the chance to ride in the tow vehicle when Jack was going to race. WHAT?! Jack and his wife Jenna invited me to ride in the tow vehicle! Wow....what a dream come true! After a few races I headed back down to their pit and got in the tow vehicle. I was sitting in the tow vehicle in complete awe. To the left of us was Cory Mac getting ready to race, John Force was in the furthest lane and to the right was Jack's competitor Gary Densham. I kept thinking my dad would have loved this. I know he was looking down on me Friday but I sure wish he would have been there to experience it with me. It was a whole different racing experience from down on the track. It was awesome to see the crew get Jack's car ready to race and see Jack pull up to the light tree. The tow vehicle raced down the track to retrieve the car and pick Jack up. On the drive back to the pit, Jack hangs out of the window of the tow vehicle and waves to all his fans. That was pretty cool to watch all the fans cheer Jack on.

After we get back to the pit, I got fired. Yep, I was bad luck apparently. We laughed it off and I watched the crew disassemble the car. It was amazing to see how fast these guys can take apart a car. The clutch pressure plate was still smoking when they took it off! The boys and Curtis came down from the stands to meet me back in the pit. After many autographs by Jack, he gave us a tour of his rig, actually it's 2 rigs connected together. Again, wow. We saw so many cool things in there and 2 of his other cars that are stored up top. One of Jack's crew members gave the boys a clutch wrench (I think that's what it is) and Jack signed it for them. It was the end of the day and Jack was packing his parachutes back onto his car. Curtis got recruited to help Jack pack them back up. I told Jack that Curtis wouldn't be able to sleep until those parachutes were out safely the next day!

The day was turning into night and it was time to go. I left the track on cloud nine smelling like I dipped myself in nitro. Poor Curtis, he couldn't shut me up on the way home. It was such an awesome experience. I'll never be able to convey my appreciation to Jack and Jenna for what they did. Not only was it a cool experience but it was something that was close to my heart that I shared with my dad.

Here are some pictures from the day

Friday, February 5, 2010

Feeling Nostalgic

February. So many memories are bundled up in this one month. One of the most significant events is the birth of the boys. February 18th, 2004 almost around midnight, our beautiful boys were born. Each moment of that day is etched in my mind forever. I can remember when the nurse came in and said I was having too many contractions. I can remember the panicked phone call to Curtis saying that the doctors wanted to start me on a stronger medicine to help stop the contractions. I remember when the doctors realized that the contractions weren't going to subside and they needed to make a plan to deliver them. My boys weren't going to wait for the next day to be delivered like the doctors planned. I remember my mom, dad, Curtis' parents, his 2 sisters and my nephew coming to the hospital to be there when the boys were born. Oh yeah, and the Discovery Health Channel film crew to catch it all on tape as well! I can remember hearing Grant cry for the first time. What joy to my ears. Next came Jack and then Nolan. I can remember seeing their faces for the first time and thanking God that our boys were healthy.

Now we are getting ready to celebrate their 6th birthday in a couple of weeks. How did my little babies grow up so fast! It seems like yesterday we were celebrating their first birthday. I am so blessed that God gave me these boys and I couldn't be more proud of them. This year they really have grown up a lot. Even though they still don't like to be apart, they are now becoming more independent with their own likes and dislikes. I hope they continue to be best friends and love each other but I am excited to see where life takes them individually. I can see Grant playing every sport out there and wanting to win every game by at least 10 points. I can see Jack playing any musical instrument in the band and in his free time painting an elaborate picture. I can see Nolan sitting in front of a tv playing video games all day. Oh wait, I see that now! That boy loves his Wii race car/monster truck video games! Whoever they decide to be or whatever they decide to like, I know that I will always feel blessed that they call me mom.